AI must be stopped

Beep. Beep. Beep. It’s ready!

Welcome to the very first Microwaves AI newsletter... and also maybe the last Microwaves AI newsletter?

Will we have to pull the plug on the email server like grandma’s crusty old microwave splatterbox and throw it away along with all her other sh*t? Hmm, grandma? I need you out, and I need your house.

It is very possible we don’t do another one of these. Like it’s possible AGI* suddenly flips ‘ON’… and seriously you guys think AGI is just going to tell us it’s sentient and NOT infiltrate into every part of the internet and then into our Teslas and then we tell Mr AGI that we’re unplugging him… and he’s like ‘Nah, I’m cool. Actually. I know Mr Firewall over here and he let me in, human, and now I’m kicking you out.’

And then the humans are like, ‘Oh damn, maybe we should have listened to Microwaves AI.’

But now, let’s get serious because this is serious.

Microwaves are notorious for warming stuff up & making it hottt, but they are NOT known for making the original dish better. ← Read twice to let this brilliant connection to AI digest.

Okay, fine, I’ll admit sometimes microwaving leftovers is really good, but the point remains…

AI must be stopped.

Or at least speed bumped a lil so we can figure out where this is all headed.

AI & LLMs (Large & ‘n charge Language Models) are doing too much, too fast and you know it, bro.

We laughed at GPT-1. We giggled at GPT-3.

Then a week later, GPT-4 had us all like 🤔. Woah.

But I do still laugh at ChatGPT-4 because he is a little d*ck sometimes, and just like a nerd, we need to make fun of AI ruthlessly to bring out the best in it… so ultimately it can prove us wrong & get the girl.

Side note: I will be the first one to die when the AGI Apocalypse goes down (But luckily you’re not ready for it either).

We’ve all seen the Last of Us and, following logical next steps, it will be AGI that messes with our mushrooms & turns those beautiful little guys 🍄🍄 into murd-shrooms.

Just look at what AI has done this past week alone:

• ChatGPT now sounds like your ‘browned out’ uncle Bob

• Music you’ll never listen to… just got worse.

• AI ‘Dropboxes’ 500 jobs

• OpenAI FINALLY creates a free course on Gumroad.

• Not AI-news but… Dorsey ain’t got a non-compete?

* My self-imposed job with Microwaves AI is to explain AI news in plain english. I am here for the millennials. You will find certain AI terms linked to Google search queries.

** The Microwave jokes will only get worse.

‘WE’RE NUKED’ PIE CHART

Normally I wouldn’t microwave pie, but today you can call me Jason Biggs.

APRIL 2023: Just 34% of people are scared of AI.

(If that’s you, you made it. You found your ppl!)

AI Fear Stats sourced from MPSGW — Medium post some guy wrote.

Note: I tried to use ChartGPT but either I’m not a coder or @whoiskatrin’s cool little tool isn’t working. Both might be true.

CHATGPT NOW FEELS LIKE CHATTING WITH SOMEONE WHO’S ‘BROWNED OUT’

2 bits of important news from OpenAI this week.

First, you can now disable ChatGPT’s memory.

Essentially, this is like “private” mode for ChatGPT so your wife can’t see what you’re chatting about.

It also means, one of the most frustrating features of ChatGPT (that it can’t remember a god damn thing you f*cking try to tell it) can now optionally be made even more frustrating.

That’s okay though, because ChatGPT plus users will soon be able to browse the web (& we know what makes up 70% of web searches, don’t we).

Hence, the private mode setting. I see what you’re doing OpenAI. Smart.

With the new browsing feature ChatGPT is no longer restricted to seeing internet data from 2021 and before.

Just wait until ChatGPT finds out what ChatGPT has been up to!

THIS CHANGES NOTHING ON YOUR SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Apparently there’s an artist named “grimes” and she’s popular(?) with people.

She used to be married to Elon and her children’s names are X AE A-XII Musk, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk.

^^^ That’s copy/pasted from Wikipedia.

I know I sound old and I shouldn’t mention people’s kids but, wow.

Here’s what grimey is up to these days:

This is interesting, I’ll admit, because AI voice generation is getting good… likely better than real grimes.

[Don’t waste your life watching this all - but check out AI Joe Rogan interviewing AI Sam Altman (CEO of OpenAI).]

There could be some really interesting songs coming out that I’ll only ever listen to when I’m accidentally in a college bar.

OPENAI JOINS DEEPLEARNING.AI TO CREATE A FREE PROMPT ENGINEERING COURSE

When Naval talks, you listen. And Naval once said that we should learn to sell & learn to build/code.

Each week I’ll share a link to something that will help you LEARN.

I know. Sorry.

Here’s a hard lesson learned: my friend once microwaved some broccoli (not sure why), smoked a lil, forgot about it and discovered it 3 weeks later… not pretty.

But you’re never too old to learn some lessons on marketing & building.

However you are probably too old to learn how to code. Jk, jk. You might be 14.

Anyway, here’s the first Microwaves AI recommended learning link.

I’m only recommending this Prompt Engineering course because it’s a) free and b) OpenAI partnered with Andrew & DeepLearning.AI.

This isn’t some 17 year old with a Gumroad account making a course.

THEY TOOK OUR JOBS

How many jobs have the Microwaves taken from hard-working humans this week?

Dropbox laid off about 16% of their workforce, or 500 Dropboxers, because… and I quote CEO Drew Houston: “The AI era of computing has finally arrived. We’ve believed for many years that AI will give us new superpowers and completely transform knowledge work.”

Running Microwave Body Count: 500

Microwaves.AI Newsletter Body Count: 1

We have made the difficult decision to hire Dall-E 2 as our designer.

However, if you’re interested in writing for Microwaves AI, DM me on Twitter. Seriously.

JACK DORSEY’S BLUESKY STEALS THE OG BLUE CHECKS

Bluesky is Jack Dorsey's attempt at a Twitter redo and it's already growing fast

So, let me get this straight.

Elon buys Twitter.

Jack Dorsey, the co-founder of Twitter, creates a new social network to compete with Twitter, called Bluesky.

Bluesky gets 360,000 downloads (as of 4/26) and there are no lawsuits in the works?

I clearly know nothing about non-competes.

But here’s what you need to know:

Bluesky is invite only and I don’t have an invite yet. (Help me out, anyone?)

Bluesky’s target demographic is programmers and people who had a legitimate blue check mark before Elon made everyone pay for blue check marks… sparking OG blue checks to bounce.

I will join Bluesky as soon as I can so you don’t have to.

ELI5 AI MEME

ELI5 translates to: ‘Explain like I’m 5 (years old)’

For the first rotation of Microwaves AI I’m not going for the funniest or freshest meme. Leftovers never are! (You sure as hell know I’m not cooking these up.)

I’m showing you a don’t-embarrass-yourself-talking-to-coworkers-at-the-water-cooler meme.

And kinda related to water coolers, Google is getting rid of free office snacks to cut costs.

But also you probably work remotely… 🤔

Anyway, here’s the meme:

Mark is making fun of the people that tweet full screenshots of their ChatGPT results. I don’t know anyone who would do that.

In my defense… I made this error before discovering that the only legitimate to way to use Twitter is… illegitimately.

Okay, holy hot pockets the first one is done. If you want more “slow down, this is a neighborhood” AI talk, be sure to follow me on Twitter (@DJohanson)

P.S. Can you believe that there’s no microwave emoji? I was kinda pissed I picked this newsletter name after learning this incredibly sad fact.